I know that I have been gone for quite awhile. Well, life happened.
You see, I've always knew what I wanted to become even as a child. I wanted to be an artist. I have devoted a good time during school days to drawing, painting, crafting, designing, and almost anything art-y. I would rather do art projects than study. Modesty aside, I really think I was good at it. But most importantly, it was the one thing that truly made me happy. I simply love art.
Sadly, I never actually pursued it. I was made to believe that it was not the path that I was meant to take. But life has taught me a valuable lesson and B.M. Corona said it so beautifully:
At 38, my life has been full of regrets. And as much as it is easier to point a finger, I'd rather blame myself for not being strong enough to fight for what I really wanted. I blame myself for not taking charge of my life and live it the way I've always wanted.
One day, I found myself in a personal mess that placed me under the judgment of those that I love. I have betrayed them because of my carelessness and no matter what I say, I know that I couldn't take back what I have done. I kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps I was given this challenge so I can draw strength from it to finally make a stand. Perhaps I was nudged to do what I have been wanting to do for so many years -- to live freely. And so I did.
Home didn't feel like home anymore so I decided to get my own place and pursue the love of my life -- art. For years it is all I ever wanted. Especially when my love for nail art started, all I can think about is getting a place and setting up a personal nail station. I never really had a permanent work space back in our house. I was always being asked to transfer to give way to other people. And believe me, I moved around a lot. Consequently, inspiration drifted and this blog suffered badly with an inconsistent post schedule.
Independence is liberating. But the experience of settling into a new place was humbling as well. Some things were taken back and although it hurt, it was a price I was willing to pay for my freedom. If only I could take back the years that were taken from me as well. But there's no point dwelling on that now. I need to keep moving forward.
It took quite awhile to adjust to my so-called new life. Honestly, I am still adjusting. But everything is set in motion, including this blog. My only fear is that it might be too late for me to pursue my lifelong passion. But then again, it is never too late to chase a dream. And so starting tomorrow, this blog will breathe again. I have lined up a few nail art tutorials and reviews to jumpstart the ol' engine. I hope that you will all still be there to support me.